Does It Dunk?

“The life unexamined is not worth living.” Socrates, a man famed for his questioning approach and thirst for knowledge, and wine. The allure of answering life’s big questions (with a little wine on the side) is one that very much appeals to us, so he was certainly on to something. There’s plenty of philosophy surrounding the humble grape, and a whole world of questions that we try to answer from time to time when you have them. This often gets us thinking, and not always in the best of ways…

 

Yesterday was National Oreo Day. It doesn’t get the same attention as Christmas or Pancake Day (for some reason), so you’d be forgiven for missing it. We, on the other hand, didn’t miss it and now the Oreos are gone. But before devouring the whole lot, we answered the question that absolutely nobody was asking.

 

Can you dunk an Oreo in wine?

 

If you’re not an Oreo aficionado, here is a quick overview. It’s two thin pieces of chocolate flavoured biscuit with cream sandwiched in between. Imagine a round custard cream that tastes a bit of chocolate, and you’re there. Everyone who partakes knows that you eat them using the following method:

 

Twist, lick, dunk.

 

Pretty simple, but what do you dunk them into? Oreo suggests milk, but we’re having none of that. We always say that wine goes with everything and hear is its biggest challenge yet. Does it go with wine? And if so, which wine does the biscuit go with? I volunteered to find out in the name of science…

 

Dunk on Wine

There were some winners, and some losers, in the process. There is no doubt the biggest loser was me. Bits (as explained in our Uncomplicated Guide to Tasting) shouldn’t be in your wine glass, so the dunking was already sacrilegious. But in the interest of science, I chose three wine options that might work:

Oreo & Prosecco

In our initial musings on the dunking matter, Anna pointed out that in wine, sweet goes with sweet. This led us to consider Prosecco as a good option (we briefly considered the Great Bear sweet wine, but it’s too good to bother with biscuits!). Tasting notes for our Prosecco Alnè include green and golden apple, pear and vanilla. As promising as that sounds, the dipping experience was less than desirable. Biscuity flavours are to be admired in vintage Champagne, but not here. An overall mouthfeel of fizzy biscuit wasn’t a winner, and the Oreo overpowers.

Dunkeroo Rating: 4/10

 

Oreo & Port

A no brainer. Port with rich chocolate mousse, gooey chocolate puddings and the like is a winner at any table. This must be a 10, right? Unfortunately, the Oreo doesn’t stack up. While there is good flavour, it’s all from the Port as the biscuit fails miserably to make itself known. Instead, nothing cuts through the alcohol and you end up slightly disappointed with your biscuit, and for your port. Instead, stick to cheese (maybe a Dairylea dunkable, but that’s a different article altogether).

Slam Dunk Rating – 2/10

 

Oreo & Pinot Noir

So, port was too much and the prosecco not enough. In full Goldilocks style, something should be just right. When looking for a wine that gives a lighter, fruitier feel without giving up on a good amount of body, look no further than pinot noir. I picked out the Distant Noises (not the ones in my head telling me not to ruin another glass of wine) because of the cherry flavours and all-round fun. Biscuit in, biscuit out, and boom. Milk be gone, we have a winner. It was a little like the party desserts you get at Christmas – a miniaturised black forest gâteau with a good amount of dark fruit, alcohol and cream. It was so good I even considered another, but the Distant Noises caught up with me and insisted it was better alone.

Dunk Dunk Goose Rating – 8/10

 

There you have it. Can you dunk an Oreo into wine? Sure. Should you do it? Categorically, no.

 

Wine is all about discovery. Some wines you’ll love forever, and they’ll be enjoyed in warm baths and on spring picnics. Others will be forgotten because the wine and whatever you paired it with just weren’t for you – and that’s okay. To summarise my findings, I’ll leave it to a paraphrased Socrates – “I cannot teach anybody anything. I can only make them drink.”

Written by Matt Mugan